The Diary of a Mad Americanized Puerto Rican Woman Vol. 4 Conspirituality

At first I didn’t have much to say about the terrorists storming capitol hill because I don’t watch the news. I don’t have cable and it disrupts my mental peace. And I also thought okay, so these proud boys who were told by the government told to standby are taking it to their doorstep so they can deal with the fuckery. Good, I’m not mad at that piece of it.

But seeing these people once again claim to be awakened and the enlightened ones triggers me for multiple reasons. The Q Shaman got me.

I recently learned in a past life I had to fight to protect myself and what belonged to me. I also know that my ancestors had to do the same. Watching these events unfold is traumatizing to everyone but especially Black, brown and Indigenous people. Seeing the spiritual bypass of love and light from the moderates and the audacity of these cult followers to claim that they are awakened and fighting for child trafficking victims is fucking frustrating to say the least.

I’m tired of the lack of accountability and responsibility in the communities in which I dwell or circulate when it comes to calling this shit out. People I know personally and also from afar. I’m tired of being told I’m being divisive because I call out the corruption and racism in broken, violent systems. (Systems that inflict pain on every single one of us who are not rich and white. And yes, I know America has been racist toward whites — Germans, Italians, Irish but assimilation.) I’m tired of being told not to believe everything I see or read because it’s controlled by George Soros, the man who is in cahoots with other elitist white men to create a new world order. I’m tired of feeling misunderstood when I speak about racial injustices in America. And I KNOW Black, Indigenous and people of color are more exhausted than me. And so I write for the restlessness within me, for my ancestors and the exhausted voices in the Black, Indigenous and brown communities. I’m tired of those who claim to understand that racism exist idly standby and pretend as if everything is okay or will be because we are all one. I’m tired of hearing everything being presented in front of us (in the media) is a diversionary tactic so we stay sheep. What if you are the ones who are the sheep? Ignorant of America’s history, asleep to it’s present and delusional of the future.

During this uprising since March, I’ve experienced white women coming to me forlorn with their guilt wanting to know if their Black peers felt their solidarity. I’ve watched “wellness advocates” and “healers” like posts that incite violence, spread misinformation and try to quell the rightful emotions of anger and grief in the Black community with “love and light.” I’ve had a young white male in my own home tell me to look into the corruption of Hilary Clinton as a diversionary tactic when I brought up systemic racism. He proceeded to ask me if I actually saw racism in my daily life…

I don’t need Q Anon to tell me that the government is corrupt. I’ve witnessed it. My ancestors witnessed it. I am witnessing it! My Grandmother was of the generation in which the largest mass sterilization and eugenics occured in Puerto Rico. I don’t need Q Anon to tell me that the government has an agenda and is ruled by elitists and corrupt beings, that Rockefeller and Carnegie are at the root of evil. As they are the ones behind so much of Black brown and Indigenous communities being legally and illegally oppressed and supressed and murdered. If a new world order is to establish itself which communities do you think would be harmed the most?

Trump is not a fucking savior. He’s a narcissist. He says build a wall, grab her by the pussy, he’s been accused of over 20 sexual assaults. As for a satanic blood cult he is supposed to be taking down, please show me the receipts. Cause I haven’t found them anywhere. He’s a fucking pervert pedophile himself. Did you see him in your astral projections to the land of pedophilia?

Racism and injustice are not limited to a deregotary word. I say that because I had a young white male tell me this as their reference point for racism, not acknowledging its presence in the prison system, policing system, education system, and on and on. It’s embedded in our systems and our social constructs, what more do you have to see to believe that? To want to change it. To be outraged by that truth. No ones making this shit up. Mass protests did not happen all across the globe in vain. They were not because the Soros owned media convinced us “sheep” and “liberal snowflakes” into believing racism is real. We know it because we’ve live(d) it, witness(ed) it, or believe others when they say they are/were victims to it.

You are not woke if you are so far up in the 12th dimension that you are devoid of the experience of being a human. You are delusional. You are not woke if your spirituality hinges on the idea that your “enlightenment” makes you special or transendant beyond your fellow human beings. You are narcissistic. You are not woke if your beliefs predicate the notion that everything is an agenda except for the very real agenda and reality of the oppressive systems this nation was built upon. You are oppressive. You are not woke if in your despair to find connection amidst a pandemic you found a home in a cult organization. You are a lost soul. You are not woke if your mental warfare to find answers is externalized. You are harmful. You are not woke if you believe that someone is going to save you or us or them. You are desperate.

What is the most horrifying is the moderate as MLK put it. The people who don’t want to get involved or take a stand. Those who standby and watch the chaos and storm take place leaving themselves unburned from the scorches of the fire while targeted communities once again have to warrior on.

What brings me much rage and anger is those who don’t understand that emotions are not what should be demonized here. “Spread more love, less hate. Peace. Unity.” People are grieving out here. People are being traumatized over and over and over again. Without justice, there shalln’t be peace. What I choose to do with my anger separates me from the white supremacist. I allow it to awaken my ancestors within me, to stoke the fires within me to burn these oppressive systems to the ground one by one and rebuild them until there IS actual peace and equity and love and light.

“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound with mine, then let us work together.” — Lilla Watson

And if you haven’t come here to help at all you are just as much part of the problem.




Miranda is a plant medicine activist and the creator of Mariposa, a platform dedicated to sharing ancient wisdoms and healing modalities.

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Miranda A.

Miranda A.

Miranda is a plant medicine activist and the creator of Mariposa, a platform dedicated to sharing ancient wisdoms and healing modalities.

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